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describe future events. Psychic Rose® Biography True Love Story written by AnnMarie Conti.
Judgement to bring back love again and their short stories Copyright protected and witnessed.
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including Internet usage, without written permission from AnnMarie Conti except in the case of
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The book will mentioned some songs that had meaning to Psychic Rose during certain life lessons.
If you have the time to listen to the songs, a gratification to very talented artists such as Elvis,
Peter Frampton, Commodores, and of course Elton John/Bernie Taupin and their talented songs.
AnnMarie Conti created her own song called "Easy" Enjoy her love story!
"I know what's in your Future and I will Tell you!"
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At 32 years old, Harry chose to take his life. Regret is a sad word to wish upon and Harry felt that very much when his choices in life changed Psychic Rose. His ex-girlfriend, Diane, easily influenced Harry. Diane was wild and she just wouldn't give him up. Diane threatened Psychic Rose life several weeks before Harry died and Harry knew it as she remembers unfortunately their last conversation on the phone as she told him to keep his wife Diane away from her because she threatened Psychic Rose on her answer machine tape, Diane used words like "You will see blood" "You will see blood" repeatedly. Thank god Diane did not know where she was! She was only a short distance away from Diane. She had no choice but to give the recorded tape to the cops. She felt so angry and cold talking to someone that she thought was very special to her once upon a time. She also knew that Harry feared that one day Diane might hurt her.
Harry made a choice one day to walk away and go back to Diane not because he wanted to leave but because of Diane's bad influence and Psychic Rose was much younger than she actually told Harry because she lied about her age when she first met Harry and he later found out the truth. It was not Psychic Rose's idea to lie to Harry it was at the time her best friend Little Diane (another Diane with a better soul.) She can remember several times as the months went on, Harry would see her and even came back for a second chance four months later after he left her the first time, which she forgave because they did truly love each other. But Diane was always coming back in between to start trouble. Diane was unbalanced and dangerous because of her alcohol and drug problems. Eventually, Diane got pregnant by Harry to add to the other child she had by someone else. Psychic Rose doesn't know and sometimes wonders if she did get pregnant first before Diane did would that have changed fate for the better? She thinks anything would have been better than the choice Harry later regretted by getting involved in Diane's evilness and marrying her falling for her trap.
Psychic Rose can remember the day when Harry said to her, as she asked him why did he leave her? Finally, feeling daring enough to hear it several years later at his apartment outside (at the picnic table) because he left Diane again and Harry replied, "We can get it back!" as tears were running down her face full of disappointment because a very serious tragic involving a violent person almost ruined her and all she could say back was "I'm not that girl anymore." Harry just looked at her as he paced back and forth with his head down standing and repeating again "We can get it back!" And all she could say back repeatedly "I'm not her anymore" as deep scars of memories came rushing through her mind overcoming the special feelings of joy that she once shared with Harry to the rage remembrance of forced violence that changed her and who Psychic Rose used to be as sad tears kept running down her face screaming and crying, "No, you're too late." "It's too late."
When Harry left Psychic Rose, she didn't have protection any more and felt lost. She was 22 years old when Harry died. She was not with Harry at the time of his death but she can recall one night when she went back to his apartment at night and Harry told her as she was leaving Harry said, "One day I am going to take a gun to my head." after he heard her tell him what had happened. Psychic Rose does not think at that moment they knew each other anymore. Time does heal all wounds. After Harry's death, she always promised herself that she would visit his grave. Usually when she goes, it is around the middle and end of the year. She tries to go at least two times a year. Every time she would go, she would bring one rose; just one rose for a Special Love. Psychic Rose can remembered the day when she was first starting on the Phone Psychic Rose® Network around September of 1996 and her Network asked her "What name are you going to call yourself when you talked to the customers?" She only thought of Harry and the One Rose that he gave her one day when he knocked on her door trying to mend her broken heart.
AnnMarie Conti was already using " The Mark" Psychic Rose"
How do I explain your touch?
Trusty desire more
Responding and willing increasing the craze
Enduring the feel that memory won't erase
Love did come easy
I didn't have to wait
Maybe it was fate
Initiating the take
A smile that would last
Glimmer in your eyes, I'm twisting inside
Closing the lights, deep lyrics to hear
Show me kisser not to fear
Love did come easy
I didn't have to wait
Maybe it was fate
Initiating the take
Sweet days far-reaching
Wishing you were still here
Time distance quickly searching
Shadowing, I will always care
Accord feelings lusting for more
You were my sword therefore
My big wand who filled my cups
Pleasing me in every way
The texture was real
Giving me memories that won't ever go away
Love did come easy
I did wait
It was fate
And I'm glad to take.
Copyright Psychic Rose
Song lyrics written by Psychic Rose dedicated to Harry!
It was in June of 1996 and to her surprised it was Harry's Anniversary Death day June 15, and Psychic Rose just happened to go on that day and noticed the date to remind her as she put his one rose on his grave. Psychic Rose went to visit Harry's grave but this time it was different because she was working on the Phone Psychic Network and she was involved with Tarot and learning her Gift and Powers of Communication through the Spirits. She decided to bring her Tarot cards with her this time. Psychic Rose felt the Spirits communicating to her as she decided to drive to Calverton cemetery in New York. On the way there, she decided the Judgment Tarot card would help her bring Harry back. If there is one thing she was sure in life it is, "Harry always came back to her and always will." It's funny because what Psychic Rose is about to tell you will be hard to believe but it is the truth. In fact, she feels it is time again to do it. You are probably saying "What?" All right she will tell you.
It was a little later than usual for her to start going towards the Calverton cemetery, and as usual she stopped at Perry's Florist to get a rose. It was cloudy and late afternoon as she parked her car along side the lot that Harry's grave was about two rows away in the middle. Psychic Rose took her Tarot cards wrapped up in black silk cloth. She laid the Judgment Tarot card on top of Harry's grave and she started to think about the fact that Harry always came back to her and it was time for him to come back. Harry just needed a little help or a path to lead him to come back to her. She figured if there was anyway possible for this to happen it would be this way. She was learning her Gift of Powers and felt confident enough that she could do this as Psychic Rose kept saying it standing in front of Harry's grave,
"Harry you always come back to me. Come back. Come back to me."
To her surprise the house they went to happen to be on Wintergreen Street in Coram! This is where Harry and Psychic Rose lived the second time around. She was shocked and not sure about this situation. She went into the house and everything became familiar to her. It was dark when Psychic Rose entered the house so she was not aware that it was the same house that Harry and her lived in the year of 1980. She noticed some changes made to the house. Donna did not know that Psychic Rose once lived here. Then Donna confessed that she was sort of living there with Frank a guy who she had been seeing. Psychic Rose walked in and on the left was a big room that Donna and Frank was in. Donna started to argue with Frank because she caught him in the bathroom looking at Playboy magazines. Donna did not handle this very well it was a blow to her ego. So she left that scene. She went into the kitchen and on the counter was white powder and everyone was sitting at the kitchen table and Steven, which is Donna and Diane's brother, sitting on the counter next to the white powder. She wasn't sure what the white powder was but the kitchen did remind her of "their kitchen." At this moment her heart was crushing and memories were coming back. It was very emotional for her, too emotional. So she left that scene and decided to go up the stairs, actually upstairs was where Harry and her stayed. She was shocked it was all the same and she did not know what to think. As she went up the stairs, Psychic Rose really was recalling the times she used to go up these stairs with Harry after coming back from the beach and having so much fun and when she got to the top and went into the room that used to look like "theirs" it just happened to be Steven's room with his girlfriend, Laurie, whom she never did get along with. Psychic Rose just couldn't take it anymore! She had to leave and even though she realized at that moment she made a big mistake not taking her car, she just did not care. She knew she had to leave so she went back down the stairs and out the front door determined not to look back.
Psychic Rose stepped out onto the street in the dark and wondering how was she going to get out of this. she walked to the stop sign a short distance away and a car suddenly stopped and she screamed at the car and said in the middle of the street at 1:00 in the morning to this car with a black man in front of the wheel, "Do you know how to get out of here?" It was so long since she lived there and she forgot how to get out of the development. The black man rolled down his window and looked at her like she was crazy. Psychic Rose then repeated herself by saying, "Could you at least give me a ride to the main road?" Again the black man just looked at her and then said "OKAY." she got in the car and the first thing Psychic Rose said was, "Thank you" as he was making a u-turn, which she did not understand. As he was making the u-turn he said, "You really do not know whom I am." she looked back at him and said, "Why should I?" He then put on the car light so she could take a look at him. What she saw was a good looking black man with beautiful skin and little boxing gloves hanging from his rear view mirror? He looked at her and then said, "I'm Sugar Ray Leonard. I hurt my eye that's why I am not fighting anymore." So, she said, "Sugar Ray Leonard! What! You're Sugar Ray Leonard!" "Nah you're not Sugar Ray Leonard." I think he was more shocked that she did not recognize him! She was so shocked to believe that she would just walk out of a party and go to the stop sign thinking of Harry and meet SUGAR RAY LEONARD! Psychic Rose thought it was impossible and crazy but believe it or not, it was true! she has to admit she really busted Sugar Ray Leonard's chops. As they were getting onto the main road, she did tell him that she left a party because she did not feel comfortable there and was glad she left. When they got to the main road and she was ready to get out and as she started to say, "Thank you again" to her surprise, Sugar Ray Leonard said, "I'll take you home." She smiled back and said, "Thank you I would definitely appreciate it." As she was giving him directions from Route 112 to the Long Island Expressway back to exit 59, she asked him for I.D. Sugar Ray Leonard just laughed at her and said with a smirk, "I do not need identification" as he glanced at his little boxing gloves hanging from his rear view mirror with pride in his eyes. Boy, what a night! Unbelievable and crazy but then again as Psychic Rose goes on with her story to tell, you will definitely see that she had a different but fulfilling life and definitely unusual. Sugar Ray Leonard was kind enough to bring Psychic Rose to her car, parked outside of Donna and Diane's house. Sugar Ray Leonard did asked for a kiss and she will admit he was a quite a gentleman. She felt funny but gave him a kiss on the cheek. Sugar Ray Leonard kind of made her feel that he would have wanted more of her company and she knew that but she just did not want to take advantage of him just because he was a Celebrity. Sugar Ray Leonard got the hint and then asked Psychic Rose to show him how to get back to the Long Island Expressway. She said, "OKAY, follow me."
She then proceeded with her driving to see Robby. She pulled into the parking lot only to see Robby through the glass window expecting her. Psychic Rose said, "Hello Robby how are you doing?" Robby said, "OKAY." Customers were coming in and out. Robby and her usually waited until the customer(s) leaves and then they would start talking until the next customer comes in then they shut up until they are alone again. She taught Robby this from years of working and dealing with customers, she always would tell Robby you never know who will walk in the door. Anyway, she asked Robby if they were going to hang out tonight and he said, "Yes but my car is in the shop." Psychic Rose said, "No big deal you're around the corner, I will come and pick you up after work." It was Sunday and on Sundays Robby got off at 10:00 p.m. Robby and her developed a friendship only because she certainly did not want to get involved with him and his situation of having three kids. Robby did become a friend.
Psychic Rose really did not want to get involved with Robby it seemed more that he was pursuing her and she went along with it for the time being. She liked Robby but she knew he was not Harry. Robby really liked her but it was mutual that they both knew they were just friends. She thinks it was more that she was a good friend towards Robby. Robby and Harry were very different people. She would say honestly Harry was full of excitement, fun, and fulfilling and Robby was calm, quiet, and very sneaky. And one thing she hates is a sneaky man. For that reason alone is probably why it never went any further than friends. And if there was anything Psychic Rose was sure of, it was that Robby was no comparison in the bedroom to Harry. Psychic Rose definitely knew the difference! Why does she say this? As we go on, you'll see.
Psychic Rose was five years old and she still can remember that day clearly. A few days before, she can remember when her mother got her brothers and her up early to get dressed up for the family picture of us kids together. She saw the photographer coming in the house and he rolled down a white screen behind us for the background and took the picture. She still has that picture it was very nice to see her brothers and her in a family photo. It was a lifetime memory. Her father at that time worked at night that's when she started to hear funny noises at night. Unfortunately, they lived on the bottom floor of a white house and it was nice but narrow and long. You had to come in from the side door, which was in the driveway towards the back going to the garage. When you came in on the right was the big kitchen table and on the left was the kitchen and as you kept going left you went into the living room then my mother and fathers' bedroom plus Psychic Rose's (same room.) And then the back room was the boy's room. Because she was the only girl and very young at first it was a crib but at that time she was five years old and she was getting older and started to sleep in a single bed in the corner against the wall in the same room as her parents. Her parents knew eventually she was getting bigger and they would have to move. Anyway, as Psychic Rose was saying, she started to hear noises in the dark her mother was moaning, groaning, and she was very young but she finally figured it out. Frank was actually coming over and they were having sex in her parents' bed next to her!
She began to recognize the other side of her mother's personality as being sneaky. She certainly did not understand this behavior and her own father was noticing a change too! One day to her surprise Bobby and her were alone, her mother was out, and she thought her father was at work until he appeared in the living room grabbing her and calling her his "Cupi Doll" as he sat down and put her on his lap. Her father, Charlie, turned around and said, "How is my Coupe Doll doing today?" And Psychic Rose said, "OKAY." Then her father said, "Where is mommy?" And she said, "I don't know." Her father then asked, "Is mommy staying out late and leaving you alone?" Psychic Rose said, "yes."
Her father did not say too much after that and she did not think much about the conversation until the next day! It was a sunny day because the sun always came through our windows over our kitchen table. It was early morning and her father wasn't home. Her mother got up early and was cooking a really nice breakfast. She just watched her mother as she was cooking and giving Psychic Rose the impression that they were going to have company. She just couldn't figure out whom? Until there was a knock on the door and her mother went to the door and opened it to let Frank (milkman) in. She just couldn't believe it! She knew she was very young but she was definitely getting confused. Psychic Rose means, she thought her mother was supposed to do this with her dad. Anyway, her mom let Frank in and Frank went to the right but to the other side of the head of table. Her mother began laying out all the delicious breakfast food and Frank was obviously looking forward to eating it. Her mother was a good cook. Frank began to eat and her mother went on top of his lap and was feeding him and they looked like they were in love.
Until the door opened again and there was her father coming in! She didn't know what was going to happen but she was definitely afraid. Psychic Rose just stood there and studied her father's behavior. She knew that her father loved and adored her. Psychic Rose was afraid for everybody so she showed her father that her presence was there to protect or at least keep her father from going crazy. Her father came in the door and as he spied at her mother sitting on Frank's lap. She can still remember so clearly her mother jumping up with a jolt. To Psychic Rose's amazement her father went towards her knowing she was watching between the kitchen and the living room. Her father went into the living room so she turned her head from the kitchen to the living room and saw him sit on the couch on the other end against the wall. Her father just sat there and did not say one word. He sat there for a while in a stare. Psychic Rose just stood there trying to surmise what was going through his mind. He just sat there senseless. Her mother was in the kitchen telling Frank to go but Frank was frightened for her mother and did not want to leave her alone. Her father grew impatient and then told Psychic Rose to get into the bedroom and abruptly went towards the kitchen draw and grabbed a knife by this time Frank seemed more eager to leave and started heading towards the door, walking backwards as her father kept coming at him with the knife. Psychic Rose did not leave she had to see what was going on. Her father started to point the knife at Frank's stomach and kept saying, "Get out!" "Get out now!" By this time, she had to be even more courageous and go more towards them to make her presence louder while Frank glanced at Psychic Rose, and then her father did. Frank then said, "OKAY, OKAY." Frank tried to put his hands in front to shield from the knife because it was getting very close to his body as her father was poking the knife back and fourth. Psychic Rose screamed "Dadddd, Noooo!" She started to plead, "Dad, Please Don'tttttt." Her father must have heard her cry and gave enough space for Frank to say again; "OKAY" and then Frank turned around and ran out.
From that day on Frank (the milkman) and Psychic Rose became friends. She thinks today as she looks back, if you want to know who was THE ONE that appreciated her courage and strength on that day? It was Frank, the milkman. You might find that answer to be strange but that day was merely the start of a hidden loyalty, she would have for the milkman. Frank became a part of her life so unexpectedly. She grew to love and know Frank and watched all that he went through just to be with her mother until she was sixteen years old. It was that day that she discovered her Powers of Presence. Her brother, Bobby, which was a year younger, ran into the bedroom and hid. She had the power to control many peoples' destiny that day. Think about it. If Psychic Rose did not stay, what would have happened? Psychic Rose had to be strong to stay and used her Powers of Presence. Her father could have been in jail today. Maybe? And even though her father did not live a perfect life, he still got to drive his trucks! Her DAD loves to drive trucks and he is a Great Truck Driver. Almost all his life he drove trucks. Her father got a lucky break a couple of years before she was born on one of his jobs, they taught him. Today, her father now drives a truck for The United States Post Office, the big trucks. And he is with the woman that he originally wanted to marry. Laura turned her back on her father when they were dating and chose her International dancing career instead and believe it or not she was on the Ed Sullivan show several times.
Well it didn't end there even though Frank left and Psychic Rose definitely felt a sense of relief. Her mother was still left and she was pretty sure Frank was calling the Police. She got really scared being alone and she is not sure why but she ran into the bedroom next to Bobby they were so scared. And all she could hear from her parents' bedroom was milk bottles many milk bottles breaking all over the kitchen floor. Her father was out of control breaking bottles of milk. And all she could think of was the sharp glass and her mother still in the kitchen and still remembering hearing her voice saying, "Charlie, you're hurting me." "Charlie, you're hurting me." Just for this moment, as Psychic Rose grasp and thinks of this flashback that she had to live with for 36 years, it's quite strange that she never forgot it and never told it, until now! It is so clear in memory it was like she was still there holding that memory and now sharing it for the first time with you.
Her mother finally decided to walk away. Psychic Rose guessed she was tired and wanted to disregard this matter. The sounds got quiet and she saw her mother wanting to lie down on her bed as she turned the light off. We were in the room, which was helpful to her. Her father decided to have a cup of coffee. The next thing she knew the coffee cup came flying across the living room into the bedroom and smashed onto the bedroom floor. Dad just wouldn't quit! The next thing Psychic Rose heard from him still in the kitchen was "I better see this mess cleaned up when I come home." Her mother just laid there in the dark and wouldn't say a word. Her father left to go back to work. Shortly after that there were knocks on the door. It was the Police. Bobby and her just kept quiet. They were so afraid. She is not sure what her mother said to the Police but they left. Psychic Rose doesn't think she made an issue.
Her mother did clean the mess up as Bobby and Psychic Rose just stayed in the bedroom together. They had each other and it did feel soothing. Her mother did do a good job cleaning the milk from the kitchen floor and picking up the shattered glass because she never did see the mess. Well you would think that would be it. Even today, Psychic Rose doesn't know why but her father came home from work and her mother was sleeping. Her father came into the bedroom still with a bad attitude opened the closet door and got the belt out and started to strapped her mother's body so many times that Psychic Rose wasn't sure if he was going to stop but when he did, she still can remembered all the black and blues marks all over her entire body! This is the very first time that she has shared this memory that she has kept deeply in her mind until she was five years old. From that day on, even though she knew that her mother's behavior was not right, she always kept her mother's secret about seeing Frank for 15 years afterwards because Psychic Rose never wanted to see her mother get hurt like that again!
Psychic Rose just showed you some pictures and as we go along, she will explain. The next-door neighbors were black. She used to play with their son. She does not remember his name but she can recall what he used to tell her. He used to say, "My mother grows plants in our basement." He said it to her a couple of times and then one day he said, "Do you want to go see the plants?" And Psychic Rose said, "yes." She was dying to know what he meant by saying his family had plants in their basement? They went downstairs and she really did see plants growing in their basement! The basement had rows of dirt and plants. It was unbelievable especially when she figured it out to be marijuana (pot)!
There was a man that used to come and visit Psychic Rose. His name was Tony. Tony liked to make Psychic Rose laugh. She never knew why Tony came to visit her but he was friendly and fun. (Later on about 23 years later, she mentally figured it out through her telepathy ability, reading her father's thoughts trying to tell her but just couldn't over dinner at a restaurant many times after her parents' divorce.) After the last dinner, the next time her father called her, she said over the phone, "Dad, I know that you are not my Dad." Her father replies, "How did you know?" It was then that Psychic Rose realized that all along she had a Psychic Ability (Psychic Rose used to use her psychic ability of telepathy in her own life to survive against people that were not very nice to her because of jealousy or for underhanded reasons in her career!) She can recollect her thoughts now wondering why so many times after her parents used to argued, she would go to her bedroom and take out her Birth Certificate and would studied it trying to find a clue to tell her that her father was not her real dad. Psychic Rose would read her father's mind as he would stare at her walking by as she grew older. And her mother would say, "Charlie, why are you staring at her?" Her father observed as Psychic Rose was growing up looking more and more like Tony instead of HIM! One day, after her father confessed to Psychic Rose that he was not her real biological father he would say, "Rose, you're a spittin image of him!" It was her father's truck driver helper named, Tony! Anyway back to the story, there was a Spanish family that lived upstairs. It was above the boy's room in the front of the house. Psychic Rose used to like jumping up and down on their big bed with their daughter but that memory changed when the upstairs neighbor's father had a very serious car accident and he was lying in the bed that they used to jump on. He went through glass and his face was badly hurt. The neighbors were slowly moving away. Her father thought it was a good time to move for many reasons: Psychic Rose guessed the first reason was hopeful thinking to get her mother away from the milkman. The second reason was she was getting older and needed her own bedroom. The Third reason, the neighborhood was getting bad. It was time to go. The whole family got into their light blue Plymouth car after they saw the moving truck drive away with all their stuff in it. She felt good about leaving. Psychic Rose was one for change. Her father used to call her a Gypsy when she was on her own and getting older. She was always looking for a change. A Spice of Life might be better to say. She liked change it made her feel alive. It was always intriguing. She had a saying or a mental way of thinking and it was "next." What's next? She felt it was healthier to be aware than ignorant. She felt new as they got on the Long Island Expressway heading towards Exit 59. She felt this clean rush of wondering "WOW" moving away to start a better life in
Lake Ronkonkoma, New York.
A legend tells the story of
A pretty Indian maid
Who loved a handsome pale-faced lad
But marriage was forbade.
Her father chose another mate
A fine strong Indian brave.
The Indian girl could not comply
And so her life she gave.
The lake of sparkling water.
Where rests the Indian daughter.
In summertime the Indian girl
Would call out from the lake
To lure below a pale-faced lad
She vowed that she would take.
And so the legend ends of Indian
Maid with lonely wail
Who lingers in the murky depths
But calls in no avail.
The lake of sparkling water.
Where rests the Indian daughter.
This poem, authored by Lois J. Watt, is a popular work among Lake Ronkonkoma historians and accurately describes the lake's "Curse."
David Igneri served as a lifeguard at the lake for decades and believes an evil force resides in its waters. David was a personal friend of Psychic Rose for many years. She met David because the Lake Ronkonkoma was a big part of her life. For many years, she went to the lake Ronkonkoma and felt an urge to be there. She can relate to Princess Ronkonkoma because in the 1980's psychically and physically, Psychic Rose did become Princess Ronkonkoma. She was very popular and especially from lake Ronkonkoma. She had many admirers that came to just look at Psychic Rose's Beauty.
Every mourning David liked swimming across the lake and then he would jog back. David bragged. Psychic Rose thought he was crazy and often wonder if she would go to the lake and hear some bad news. She thinks David was secretly searching for something or maybe he wanted to meet Princess Ronkonkoma's soul mystifyingly. David was very curious about the evil force and it's leaning power to rise and fall in an unexplained manner. Ronkonkoma the sacred lake since the 1600's tells a tale of the Indian Princess and her Annual quest to search for her forbidden love.
David remembers on July 4, 1965 he had a recurring dream of searching in vain for someone in the water. Running short of breath and hearing fireworks as he surfaced. He felt sure it was a premonition of a drowning that would occur the coming July 4th.
Incidentally, late that Fourth of July afternoon, with the beaches beginning to empty and David beginning to think he was wrong, some of the other guards brought him a Birthday cake. "We let our guard down, David would later tell reporters. In that moment, a boy went under and drowned. The shouts of the boy's father alerted them, and the 11 lifeguards on duty searched for a half an hour. David took the last look himself. He went down to the bottom, felt around in the dark, and as his breath ran out he surfaced to the sound of holiday fireworks erupting from the neighboring houses. "The lake gave me a message that this kid was going to drown no matter what I did, and since then I've felt that the Princess and I have been in deep confrontation every summer," he said. "I try to save the male, and she tries to drown the boys. She usually wins." The residents believed in her cruel annual quest for a male's life. Some story tellers simply recognized the Princess as a lingering Spirit that claims the lives of young boys in search of her lost love. "If you went in too far, (the Princess) would call to you so you followed her to the bottom, a "Black Hole." Psychic Rose guessed just like the one in Princess Ronkonkoma's broken heart.
We may truly become the Holy Fool of legend, wise through faith in the future and newborn through a willingness to let go of what we have outgrown. Or we may be merely foolish and fall on our faces, growing in understanding and compassion through inspired instinct to move forward.
Copyright Psychic Rose
It's time to go. When? It's different for everybody but one day you get a bag or a suitcase and you fill it up to go. Why? For many reasons, the biggest reason always is because of just one word "NEW." It's when your situation begins to feel old and then you suddenly feel it's time for a change. Every year we all hope for the new. I think it first starts out with fashion. We look around and we see what we like. The way we want to look. Whether we are young, old or in between, appearance is very important. With Psychic Rose it first was, she did not know? She had no style about her. Then she became friends with Donna and Diane. She was originally a friend of Christine their youngest sister. She met Christine at school and found out from going home on the school bus that she lived very close to her on Woodlawn Avenue. At six years old, she started to go out and wanted to have fun. The Pete family was a big family there was Donna and Diane, which were the twins, Carol the older sister and Christine the youngest. Herbie and Steven were brothers. Their mother did not like Psychic Rose going into their house because the house was under repair and so the father, Mr. Pete, was kind enough to make us a fort. The fort was on the side of the house and it was a great idea and a beginning for a change. This fort was really a small little house with a real roof, door, and installation and we actually slept in it many nights when I slept over and later on (as I got older) got to sneak out with the twins.
Moving to Lake Ronkonkoma or Ronkonkoma (She has lived in each town), which are the same but just different Township zones. Anyway, it was the best thing her father did for all of us. Growing up is hard especially when your first experience to see is in your own family. Love was not big in her family between her father and mother always fighting. Her mother was so turned off by Charlie, her dad. One day, Psychic Rose finally just looked at her mom and said, "Mom, why did you ever marry dad?" Her mother replied, "For security." She did not understand her mother. Her mom was strange. She will never understand her mother because if she really wanted security, arguing and cheating only did the opposite? Her mother made her feel that she did not want to share her presence with Psychic Rose. Her mother wanted to be notice first than her. She can remember back when her father caught her mother with Frank. A couple of days later she asked Psychic Rose if her dad asked her any questions about her not being there in the home (like a normal mom.) Psychic Rose replied, "Yes, daddy asked me if you were home at night." She guessed that was a big mistake because her mother became angry and abusive towards her. She woke up the next morning and getting slapped across the face for not knowing how to tie her shoe. And forcing her to eat so the boys would stop looking at her when she walked home.
And dad always tried to be a family man to feel wanted and important. She always felt that he had to constantly remind us of that, and that did not go well with her mother. Her mother had a one-track mind and that was SEX! There were comments made referring to my dad and about robbing a bar and going to jail at Ryker's Island in 1959 for one year. At one time her father hung out with a bad crowd. Back then there were gangsters. Her grandfather had involvement with gangsters first. She guessed that was her father's first role model. She supposed her grandfather realized his dominance on her dad when he had to beg the Judge to give her father a second chance in court. Psychic Rose's grandfather pleaded with the Judge. As her grandfather stood before the Judge "Your honor, I will make sure my son becomes closer to God. He will become a good citizen. I will make sure. Please give him a second chance. He has his whole life ahead of him." And from that day forward her dad did try to straighten out with strong guidance and lots of lectures from her grandpa. Her grandfather had to become a teacher to her dad all over again and discovered that his lifestyle obviously prompt her father in the wrong way. Her mother did not like that her dad went to jail. Why? The only thing Psychic Rose could figure out was he must have changed when he came out. She hopes her father did not have a bad experience in there or maybe he did? She doesn't know? She will try to ask him and maybe he'll give her a clue by his response. She just knew that something changed. She heard many crazy and abusive stories about Ryker's Island. She is sure that it affected him more than she'll ever know. As her father raised her, she watched him too grow older. Even as a young girl, she could identify anger in his voice. There was a mad annoyance that did not go away for a long time. And even though she was very young, she was smart enough to know somebody caused that anger. To relive that moment when she saw her father taking the belt out of the closet getting ready to strap her mother while she was in bed. It was a sight that remains in Psychic Rose's mind forever, wondering where did he learn how to do this? At five years old, she just watched this other side come out of his closet!
Psychic Rose wanted a good teacher. She needed a teacher to demonstrate to her the right way of love. She was so disappointed in her parents. She was curious in understanding what this word love meant? She was 12 years old now and she still did not know. She never saw it or at least in the correct way. She was looking for sophistication. She needed an experienced man. She wanted a man that had competence so bad. Lake Ronkonkoma has a big history going back to the Indian Reservations. Psychic Rose can remembered many bonfires with the gang and having a great time. She had a lot of guts to sneak out of her bedroom to go back out after she would come home to show her dad that she came home by curfew time because her dad would always sit on the couch waiting for her. She still can't believe what she used to do for excitement. What turns her on is a mature man that speaks his mind and tells you his intentions. That's a man. Psychic Rose had a thing for Peter Frampton. She used to play his album the one she bought and won called "I'm in you."
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Copyright Psychic Rose
Read poem written by Psychic Rose
Psychic Rose really does believe in love even when she doesn't feel it anymore. She thinks of Harry and she remembers. She guessed you are wondering why she chose the Devil Tarot card because there are good men and there are bad men. As a woman, you grow up learning the difference. And when you had one, you now might have to learn another. The best advice Psychic Rose can give you is learning to see the signs. She believes in signs. Signs can tell you if there is writing on the wall. Signs can be an indication, a clue, and/or a dead giveaway of what is real and what is making believe. If there was anything she learned through all her hardship is do not believe a man's words because his actions does Speak Louder! Lake Ronkonkoma in the seventies was country and quiet. There is so much to learn about Lake Ronkonkoma the history, the pleasures, and the curses. She started out in a Catholic School called Saint Gerard in Hollis, Queens. She went there for kindergarten and some of first grade until she moved. Her first boyfriend was when she was five years old his name was Phillip. Phillip was sweet. Everyday he would bring to school a beautiful ring and give it to her as a gift to let all the other boys know that they were together as a couple. It was also around the same time that Psychic Rose found this Medieval Catholic Cross with her stuff. It was a Cross and Jesus was made of pure pewter from the Medieval times over heavy white gold. It was so beautiful but it did not have a bail (the loop that you can put a chain through.) She kept it and always looked at it as her broken Cross. She did not know what to do with it so she found this little small margarine cup and put it in there. Today, Psychic Rose wears the Catholic Cross around her neck on a white gold chain to protect her she had the bail fixed at JC Penney. One day about a year ago in 2003, Psychic Rose was sitting at her worktable in her office and The Spirits called for her to go to the Cross in a whisper voice. Psychic Rose felt driven to go to the margarine cup from a voice that spoke to her and said, "Go to the Cross." The Cross has been with her since she was five years old. The Cross she has had through all of her years living, moving, and learning who and how Powerful in the future she is and will become. She liked sitting in front of a record player. When she was five years old and started listening to music on her record player, she can remembered singing to Elvis "We can't go on together with suspicious minds and we can't build our dreams on suspicious lies." She guessed that was the appropriate song of her "Family Era" for what she was going through with her parents. Elvis's song made so much sense to her. Elvis gave Psychic Rose guidance. She agreed with Elvis and knew her parents were wrong.
She used to go home and tell her mother that she had a boyfriend from school. She was so happy to have someone treating her better than the way her mother was getting treated from her father. She came home one day to show her mother the Annual school class picture of Phillip and her. When her mother first saw Phillip, her mother's first words were "He's not white." Phillip had a little color to his skin like mocha. It was so light that Psychic Rose did not think much of it. It was sad the last day being with Phillip and saying goodbye to him because she was moving. School ended and Phillip walked her out with sadness in his eyes.
Her parents decided to put Psychic Rose in a Public school when she moved to Ronkonkoma. She was a little scared but definitely glad not to be wearing the Catholic uniform that she did not like much. It was different, a whole new world of kids and a lot less rules and no Nuns. (No offense)
When she started first grade in her new school at Edith Slocum, she felt funny but suddenly became comfortable when she realized she was sitting in front of Burt and he was giving her the answers to her first test because it was different more advanced from the Catholic School's test that she was used to. She thinks what attracted Burt was her long brown hair because later he sat right behind her. It was so convenient and lucky! Burt and her became friends quickly he was awfully cute. Short blond, reddish straight hair with bangs to the right side, and freckles. Burt was thin and definitely white. He took an interest in her especially when they both found out that they lived very close to each other. Burt lived on Ocean Avenue a little closer than Linda another girl that she became friends with later. Burt and her used to meet in the middle of the hill on Ocean Avenue the cross street was Woodlawn Avenue and ride bikes together. She was proud of her bike that she got for her Birthday from her parents. Her bike's design was red, white, and blue. It was so American and new. We had a great time! Burt was the first boy that Psychic Rose had a relationship with and it was quite different in communication than what she witnessed many times with her parents arguing. Burt was sweet and caring and they became best friends. Until one day Burt turns around to her and says, "I'm moving to Florida." She was shocked! Psychic Rose had just lost Phillip and was glad to meet Burt and then he turns to her and says that he is leaving her at the end of their school year. Oh boy! She was so disappointed and was too young to feel pain. The last day together with Burt they were at the middle of Ocean Avenue and Woodlawn Avenue Burt looks at her and says, "I will miss you." And then he put something in her hand. Psychic Rose looked down and it was a sterling silver heart with a heavy short little chain going through the bail. And in the heart engraved was a saying, "He who holds the Key (with a little design of the key going into the heart) can open my heart." She was seven years old and today she still has it. She keeps it with her Tarot cards (Spirits) in their handmade wooden box (The Spirits home) that she bought on the road when she was leaving Memphis, Tennessee. Burt spent every moment he could with her right from the beginning. Sometimes it makes her wonder if Burt had an idea that his family was moving to Florida when he first met her and just didn't want to spoil the great time he knew they would have with each other. Why does she say this? Because after he told her he was leaving the whole family left suddenly. Burt was a great loss for a long time she was very sad and used to walk down Ocean Avenue with her head down until one day her father made a comment to her he said, "Why do you walk with your head down?" Her father actually imitated her! She did not realize she was doing that. She was so sad that she did not realize it but after her father's remark she stopped.
Psychic Rose became friends with a girl named Linda. Linda was pretty with a pretty smile. She had beautiful hazel eyes and unique lips with beautiful teeth. Linda lived down Ocean Avenue. She lived on top of the hill alongside Ocean Avenue on Michigan Avenue and Linda lived down the hill. Her mother was the school's cafeteria matron. She liked Linda's mother she had a mother that Psychic Rose did not have. Linda seemed luckier than her and Linda knew it too. She always felt less than Linda because she had better. Linda would tease her as they were both developing a little earlier than the other girls. One day Linda said to Psychic Rose, "I'm wearing a bra." Linda had a prettier bra than her. Her mother supported Linda and knew she made a beautiful girl. Psychic Rose was pretty too because Linda wanted to hang out with her. She guessed that she fit in with Linda even though she used to hide her disappointment about her mother. Psychic Rose would always smile and kept her head high. She was in fourth grade and it was so different at Edith Slocum School especially the classrooms. Every time they wanted us to go on line the teacher would say, "OKAY everybody get against the wall by height and the tallest in the back." She was always last and Psychic Rose felt so terrible about it. She thought being tall was a curse. She wanted to be upfront with the tiny girls. Linda was always in the middle that would have been OKAY too. It was turning summer and Linda and her was wearing cooler tops and the teacher was talking and Linda passed Psychic Rose a note and it read: Meet me in the bathroom. She saw Linda leaving the classroom and she waited not to make it look so suspicious and then she left. When she got into the bathroom Linda open her side of the stall and said to come in. She looked at her with puzzle in her eyes. She squeezed in and then shut the door. Linda turned around to her and said, "Show me your vagina." At first Psychic Rose thought she was crazy until Linda says, "I want to see if we are made the same." Well, it made sense to her then. She became just as curious as Linda and so she pulled her pants down and then her panties to show Linda her vagina too. Well, Linda's eye open wide as she looked at Psychic Rose's vagina and said, "You're made different than me!" She did not know what to think but she saw that Linda was right. It seemed that Linda's vagina lips were closed and Psychic Rose's vagina lips was open on each side with more to play with in the middle. She did not know what to think except she was different. And then wasn't sure who was built wrong? Psychic Rose has a beautiful vagina and she likes her vagina.
Anyway, Psychic Rose was getting older and she wanted to make new friends. She was hanging out with Chris. Chris had strawberry blond hair and freckles. Chris got left back because her house went on fire and so her mother moved in with Roger her boyfriend. Chris and her started to hang out in school and then she introduced Psychic Rose to her friends at the Manor. Thanks to Chris, she made a lifetime of friends. Everyday after school, she would meet her halfway at the corner of Pond Road and Woodlawn Avenue and then they would walk to the Manor together. It was exciting to her. Chris opened up a whole new world to her and she was enjoying it. Chris liked to dye her hair. Psychic Rose never could figure out why? Chris had strawberry blond hair and she guessed Chris did not realize how beautiful her hair color was until later on in life. Men go crazy over red heads! She can recall one day, she was hanging out at the Manor and Chris kept bragging about changing her hair to a blond. OKAY, so the next day after school, Psychic Rose was walking to the Manor to meet Chris to see her with blond hair. Chris lately was going to school less and less. Psychic Rose grades were very good despite her personal problems at home. She tried to keep up. She took the other way from uptown to go to the Manor and she remembered walking up and looking at the stairs to go into the Manor and there was Chris hanging out on the stair's edge screaming "Somebody at the store switched bottles!" Psychic Rose looked at her from afar and saw her hair was jet black! She was shocked! She did not know whether to cry or laugh. Chris looked Chinese.
The second floor was the most popular because Big Diane was the first apartment on the right and the left was a small hallway going straight into the bathroom on each side was an apartment. Jeanette and Phil lived on the left side and Ronnie and Robin lived on the right. Ronnie was the maintenance man of the Manor. Robin was Chris's sister. Robin technically was known by many of the young boys of the Manor as being seen with more than one guy with sexual encounters in the woods. Robin and Psychic Rose did not get along she liked to put her down. Robin was jealous of her because she was friendly, young, and attractive. Psychic Rose liked going to the store for cigarettes, coffee, and beer for the residents. The residents were kind to share it with her. She was living home. She was 13 years old at the time. Chris and Psychic Rose were going to the Manor everyday and having a lot of fun. she found out that Chris was seeing (sleeping) with Fran. Fran and Steve lived in the back of the Manor next-door. Fran and Steve were identical twins. While she was hanging out with Chris, Fran, and Steve she met John. John was Big Diane's son. John was sweet. John was 5 years older than her and had dirty blond hair with sky blue eyes.
Sid came to rent a room on the third floor. Big Diane can remember his blue eyes, one hundred and seventy four pounds, and a great smile. Sid was part Indian and Italian. Big Diane is Indian, Italian, and German. Harry, my first love was a cousin to Little Diane from her mother's side, Big Diane. It was Harry's Aunt.
Diane, Harry's ex-girlfriend, was very nasty, secretive, and wild. Diane's childhood was unforgivable. She had a mother that loved her and a father that hated her. Diane's grandmother was a woman wrestler, a champion. Everybody loved her grandma. In Diane's own little way she loved her grandmother too. Harry met Diane at her grandmother's house for her birthday party. Harry was there and Diane. At first, Diane was abusive towards Harry for about 2 hours and then he was sitting in the backyard and she walked over to him and asked if he wanted a piece of the birthday cake. Harry said, "yes." She brought a piece of the birthday cake to Harry and then he asked her if she would like to go to the movies with him? And that's how it started. Diane was pregnant at the time from another man. Diane found out she was pregnant and the father took off with his family to California. The father said he would come back but he never did. Harry took the responsibility of the baby girl and moved in with Diane in Ronkonkoma off of Church Street.
Diane became friends with Harry's sister, Gurdy. Diane and Gurdy became very good friends because they were alike. Harry did not care too much for Gurdy after Diane became friends with Gurdy because Diane would go out with Gurdy and would not take care of the apartment or her daughter. Diane and Gurdy would go out drinking, stealing, and having sex with other men. One day after Sid moved into the Manor, Sid was going to Moon's Balloon, a bar on Lakeshore Road, between the LaComa Deli and gas station, which was at the corner. Sid met Diane and Gurdy on a Friday night. Sid was living together with Big Diane but I can still remember Big Diane's frustration because Sid would not give up the bar scene. Sid was hanging out with Diane and Gurdy and started getting involved with Gurdy. Sid and Gurdy slept with each other while he was living with Big Diane!
Gurdy found out that Sid was living with Big Diane and she was pregnant. Gurdy and Diane thought it would be a good idea to go to the Manor and pay a visit to Big Diane! Big Diane that day was doing her normal routine of cleaning the Manor's hallways and vacant rooms. Big Diane had to throw out the garbage so she went downstairs and out the side door and went to the back of the building where the dumpsters were. Gurdy was waiting for Big Diane because Gurdy found out through Susan, Mr. Goldstein's new secretary known as the big troublemaker, that Big Diane was doing her job and eventually would have to come out to dispose the garbage. Big Diane was going towards the dumpsters, angled like a V shape and Gurdy and Diane were hiding. Gurdy came up behind Big Diane and tried to wrap her one arm around Big Diane's waist. Big Diane saw that Gurdy had a knife in her other hand and became frantic and raised Gurdy's arm up away from Big Diane's chest with great force tossing Gurdy into the dumpster, while Diane came out of hiding and was punching Big Diane in the eye and face. While this is going on, Psychic Rose was living upstairs with gay Freddy because Mr. Goldstein, the owner, found out that she was hanging out there and sneaking into vacant rooms to sleep with Big Diane's daughter, little Diane that had no place to live either because Psychic Rose and little Diane both ran away from home. Little Diane was living with her father, Big John and Aunt Lee, which slept with Big Diane's husband. Aunt Lee is Big Diane's sister. Rumor was they kept in the Family and gave the Ronkonkoma town more gossip to talk about. Gay Freddy was staying in the one-room apartment that eventually Harry and Psychic Rose stayed in on the second floor.
One day after little Diane and Psychic Rose were done with their showers, gay Freddy was blasting his music in his room and asked little Diane and her if they wanted to hang out. She just met gay Freddy that day for about ½ hour and then Susan knocked at the door. Susan was Mr. Goldstein's new secretary. Susan was very nosy and told Mr. Goldstein that Psychic Rose was hanging out at the Manor and Mr. Goldstein knew she was not a resident. Gay Freddy opened the door and Susan said, "Rose you have to leave the property you do not belong here." Her face dropped and she became real angry at Susan and embarrassed in front of gay Freddy. She quickly went down the stairs with little Diane, who felt sorry for Psychic Rose, and they went outside to the side of the Manor and Psychic Rose started crying loudly and gay Freddy heard her through the window and went downstairs to the Main office and said to Mr. Goldstein, "Why can't Rose stay here?" Mr. Goldstein said, "She is not a resident here.' Gay Freddy then said, "Yes she is, I want to move upstairs on the third floor in the two-room apartment with Rose." And the next thing she knew she was living in a two-room apartment with Freddy, which was gay. Freddy was funny. He liked her. She never really figured out why but they were friends. Gay Freddy was a waiter at the Sheraton Hotel. He was kind enough to take her into his home instead of her sneaking around in the vacant rooms. Psychic Rose will always remembered Freddy's goodness even if it is crazy living with a gay man. Thanks to Freddy and temporarily helping her out, she met Harry in that same one-room apartment for the first time! Little Diane with Dave her boyfriend introduced her to Harry!
At the time that Big Diane was getting attacked by Gurdy and Diane, Psychic Rose's window was in the back almost right there even though she was on the third floor, she could still remember hearing Big Diane's cry for help. The Dumpster that Big Diane threw Gurdy into was full of broken window glass because they were changing the big main office doors from glass to solid wood. Sid was working that day and when he came home and saw Big Diane's face was messed up and covered in bandages. Sid asked what happened? Big Diane did not know what to say because she was upset. Little Diane told Sid the story. Sid left to go to Moon's Balloon to find Gurdy that Friday night. Gurdy was at Moon's Balloon getting arrested.
Three days later on a Monday, Harry went to the Manor to rent a one-room apartment. Big Diane was showing the room and Harry asked what happened because he saw Big Diane's face bandaged. Big Diane said, "Your sister Gurdy and Diane did this to my face." Harry was very upset and asked if he could talk to Sid about it. Harry found out through Sid that Gurdy was in jail and probably Harry would get a collect call from Gurdy to bail her out. One hour later, Sid got a phone call from Diane's mother saying that Diane was arrested that day. Gurdy turned in Diane!
After Harry heard what his sister and Diane did, Harry was glad he left Diane and was renting a one-room apartment (gay Freddy's first room) at the Manor. Harry asked Big Diane to please dropped the charges against Gurdy and he would pay for all her medical bills. Diane said, "OKAY." But the State would not let it go because Big Diane lost her baby and Gurdy had prior charges from other people. The State would not close Gurdy's case and wanted to prosecute her and put Gurdy upstate for three years. Diane went to jail for 60 days and that is how Harry and Psychic Rose had a chance to get to know each other. Gurdy and Diane, while in jail tried to sue Mr. Goldstein because he was the owner of the property. But Mr. Goldstein was not liable because the glass was in its proper place. Gurdy tried to say that Big Diane knew that there was glass in the dumpster. But it was a big lie. Big Diane had no idea where they were dumping the glass.
Three months later, Sid was still going to Moon's Balloon. Big Diane's Birthday was on October 15th. Psychic Rose came to visit Big Diane because Harry left her at the Manor and went back to live with Diane shortly after her coming out of jail. Psychic Rose went back home to start school in September. Harry found out that Psychic Rose lied about her age. She was never really sure who told Harry at that time. Years later, she found out it was Chris. Harry told her when they were talking that day at the picnic table when she asked Harry why did he leave her. Harry said, "It was Chris who made not very nice comments expressing her opinion to him in regards to their age difference." Chris sat in Harry's car and insulted Harry for loving Psychic Rose. She believes that Chris was jealous of her because she was happy in love and did not want to hang out with her because she was hanging out with Harry. When Chris went Upstate that summer, it gave her a chance to get closer to little Diane. Little Diane was just as much fun to hang out with as Chris. Chris went Upstate because her family felt she needed to get away because of her bad grades in school. When Chris came back and went to visit Robin her sister at the Manor, Robin told Chris about Psychic Rose staying with Harry only a couple of doors down on the opposite side of the hallway (same floor). Anyhow back to Big Diane who was drunk and was wearing a black haired wig. Big Diane was so drunk that Psychic Rose told Diane to take a shower and she forgot that she was wearing her wig. When Diane came out of the shower they both started laughing!
Mike and Psychic Rose met when Mike was hanging out with the twins, Fran and Steve. Chris was dating Fran. John was also a good friend of his, which is Big Diane's son. Mike and the gang used to make bonfires all year round so they could hang out outside and party with Psychic Rose, Chris, the twins, and little Diane too! It was always at the lake in Ronkonkoma but in different areas. Donna, Diane, and Psychic Rose had so much fun getting drunk, laughing, and becoming closer friends. We all turned into great friends with a lot of good memories. But unfortunately, like always, nothing lasts forever. And Little Diane and her learned that when KISS bar came along and was right on the property of the Lake Ronkonkoma on Lakeshore Drive. Mike wanted to meet people and enjoy them.
Mike met Psychic Rose and he was astonished with her beautiful glow of love on a warm summer day. When Mike noticed her and her loving friendship, Mike wanted to connect in a chummy way. And Mike as a boy, the childhood that he had, was a tough upbringing because the treatment that he received from his father was in an unloving manner. Mike's father would not engaged in his life as a dad, which Mike really, really needed. Mike did not get the guidance and love, which he thought he deserved. Mike felt pain from lack of love. Mike's father got involved with peoples' influences of drinking at the Moon Balloon's bar when he moved to Lake Ronkonkoma. Mike's father worked hard and loved his family but not enough to spend time. Mike always felt that his parents argued too much of unnecessary issues.
Psychic Rose met John at the VFW Hall across the street from the Lake, which eventually became KISS bar too, that came later. John kept eying her as she sat on the VFW wall laughing and being happy that she was making friends. She felt good to meet people that had a sense of humor and not like her parents that always argued. She hated being home and dealing with the nonsense of two people that just did not know how to be role models. And knowing that her mother was not what she appeared to be when she constantly used her as an alibi to go out and meet with the milkman Frank for sexual loving. Dropping her off anywhere she wanted to go. Psychic Rose would tell her where and then her mother would remind her to meet her back at a certain time. Usually it was around 10:00 p.m. In a way, it was good for her that she was her mother's alibi because while her mother was seeking love and sex, Psychic Rose was seeking communication from meeting fun, caring friends. Today Mike tells her all the time when they get the chance to hang out, still he'll say, "Rose you have never changed the loving glow that you possess and it is an inspiration to other people." Psychic Rose happily replied, "Thank you Mike."
And as she became friends with Mike's gang, she was learning through insight that not all people argue and disagree. She wanted to be part of love and not hate. Psychic Rose was a lover not a fighter. However, she does have a big mouth when she feels it is time to stand up for herself. And her parents learned that about her. She wanted no part of her mother's jealousy to not see her have a better life than her.
Mike lived at Wedgwood Apartments. Psychic Rose used to go there with Chris when they wanted to find Mike and the gang to hang out. Mike and his brother John lived with their mother for 11 years from 1971 to 1982. Everything was great with the crowd but things got weird when KISS bar came along. Why? In 1979, Mike had a great friend called John, which is Big Diane's son. Psychic Rose can still hear the noises of music blasting. Bringing the sound of partying so dramatic you would become so curious of what was going on inside the KISS bar as you were passing by. The noise was so loud you can hear the evil rise across Lake Ronkonkoma. Especially on Sundays! she would walked pass KISS bar and wonder so strangely of what is so special on Sunday because the parking lot on Lakeshore Drive would be filled with cars bigger or about the same size of going to a concert. Mike is about to reveal the era of KISS bar and the unknown truth. Mike and Psychic Rose wants you to know that it is not right for anyone to forget his or her past, your future is always you're past driving back home.
Mike hung out with John they were inseparable until KISS bar located on Lake Ronkonkoma, turned head and took John's manhood away. KISS bar sucked John in like the "Black Hole" of Lake Ronkonkoma. KISS bar (same sex monster) is called that because it brought a different Era to Lake Ronkonkoma and added a lot of history regarding being or turning gay. Gay Freddy used to go there too! Mike and John used to always talk about their future plans of starting a trade together and moving away. Mike and John was girl crazy and liked to love. Mike can think back when he noticed a change when John did not want to hang out with him anymore like he was hiding something and did not want Mike to find out. John was afraid that Mike would learn what he was doing. One day Mike and John were walking on the boardwalk of Lake Ronkonkoma beach and John started telling Mike; "I do not want to hang out with you anymore." Mike was heartbroken that his friend betrayed their dreams. Mike asked, "Why?" John kept silent and left to go into KISS bar in front of Mike's eyes! Mike was raged as he saw his best friend walking into a gay bar! Mike left with disgust. A week or two later, Mike met up with John again uptown in Lake Ronkonkoma and Mike proceeded to ask John, "Why did you leave our friendship for a gay bar?" "What is going on? Are you gay? Don't leave me like this? Tell me!" John did not say anything and kept silent again leaving Mike to figure it on his own, which did not take Mike very long. John, maybe, was not ready yet to admit to himself that he was a "Closet Queen."
The next time Mike saw John it was with Randy, the homo dealer of Ronkonkoma on Portion road. Randy was selling mass quantity of pot to all the queers who came to his house and it was around the same time that KISS bar became located on Lake Ronkonkoma beach. It was then that Mike figured out who the bad influence was of introducing John to the world of KISS bar. John loved drugs and apparently would do anything for them. Randy had the drugs and John was gorgeous. Randy lured John into trade. Randy played a big part at KISS bar first by becoming the bartender and then the bouncer at the front door. Randy did have power. Randy was good looking too but obviously had more business sense than John. Mike went looking for John and got word that John was living with Randy. Mike wanted to confront John in the act to make John confessed his sexuality. Mike thought by going to Randy's house it would force John to tell the truth. Mike pulled up in his friend's car and knocked on the door and Randy opened the door with an attitude and said to John "It's him." Randy knew that Mike used to be John's best friend. John came to the door and Mike said to John, "Please tell me the truth because I know and I want you to face the truth to yourself and be honest." John said, "I gotta go." Mike then said, "You can't run from the truth because I already know."
Mike became more curious. Mike thought it would be a good idea to spy on John because he was concern. One Friday night around 6:00 p.m., Mike followed John and saw John going to the side of KISS bar and up the stairs. Mike waited awhile and then went up the stairs to really find out everything. Mike knocked on the door and John opened the door with his arm up in the air holding the door I guess trying to block what was behind him, Bryan, known to have sex with men for drugs, in his underwear with his other articles of clothing in his hand running out of the room. Mike said to John, "John what are you doing to yourself?" "You're better than this." "I am disgusted!" And with hurt in his eyes, Mike continues to say, "I will always love you as a friend but I don't know who you are anymore." That day ended their friendship.
After that, the crowd on and off would come up to Mike to tell what they saw or heard about John. Mike can remember one day when the twins, Fran and Steve finally found out by telling Mike that they seen John with other men. About a year later, Mike ran into John at Islip beach on the other side of the Lake where you could play handball. Mike was playing handball. John called Mike off the court to talk to him because he wanted to apologize for hurting Mike. John said, "I'm sorry for not letting you know that I was gay." "I knew you knew and I was out of control doing drugs and I got caught up in all of the craziness." Mike said, "John I know you and you are very easily persuaded into doing things that you don't really want to do." Mike knew that John was a follower, not a leader. John said, "I did not like it. I was trying something different." Mike said, "Oh boy was that different. Way out of my ball park!" John said, "I agree." Mike did not want to hang out with John because Mike knew that his reputation would be tarnished. Mike can live with himself today for only one reason he tried to help his best friend. Mike tried to stop John from going that way.
Mike continuously heard strange occurrences at KISS bar of stories that would blow your mind. What brought these new friendships into Psychic Rose's life was because we all were missing or hurting inside from disappointment of our own family, we made our own family instead! The one you didn't get! But now Psychic Rose can say, she does thank all the people that she met at "The Manor." She is very sorry that her parents focused most of their energy on what was not, instead of, what could have been if they would have not gotten married and went a lot more further than either one should have because they ignored the signs.
Do we share? Do we choose to get hurt?
They say, "Three is a crowd" and Greatly so! Why? Because one's own feelings are not enough to go around. Oneself cannot be at the same place, at the same time twice but Can we? For some, if we cannot find everything in one person. If you had to be with the same person twice, would you enjoy it and stay? If it were not enough, would you find your substitute to make up that lack of need?
To stay together we must try to share.
Different can be fun.
Mixed pleasures to taste.
Doing things for enjoyment.
Freedom from want.
Plenty for all!
Hidden aspects of existence may be revealed.
The unknown truth is told.
It is a truth, which is not less than obvious,
but it should be understood.
At no time is it possible to know all the elements,
which influence events of why people do what they do.
It tells us that regardless of how close
a relationship or friendship is,
there is always much that is never confessed.
It cautions that you may be hiding your real
drives and motives, or are avoiding looking at
why you are involved.
The element of the unknown or unfamiliar is part
of the attraction that taps subconsciously.
A danger that one partner uses the other
and the abused partner is filling some need.
On the other hand, magic and romance
has a potential for a continuing fascination,
which warns us to look closely at why you are
so drawn, and what it is bringing out in you!
Copyright Psychic Rose
Read poem written by Psychic Rose
"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
"Sorry seems to be the hardest word" by Elton John/Bernie Taupin
On June 13, 1986, Harry knocked on Big Diane's door on Rosevale Avenue to find out some answers. Big Diane let Harry in. Big Diane and Sid were sitting at the kitchen table. Harry sat down. Diane offered Harry a beer. Harry looked like he just woke up and did not take a shower in a couple of days. Harry was staying in his van by the lake because he left Diane for the last time. Sid asked Big Diane to leave the room. Sid told Harry about the man that Diane (Harry's wife) paid to have Rose killed. Harry asked Sid to find out his name, how much he got paid, and what he was supposed to do to her. Big Diane found out from Sid going to Moon's Balloon that Diane, Harry's wife, had a deal with Vito to KILL Rose.
Sid asked Big Diane to make some dinner for him and Harry. Harry then used the shower and got some clean clothes out of his van. Harry asked Big Diane to iron his suit that he quietly planned to be his suit for his funeral. Harry knew he was going to kill himself. Harry slept over the next two nights. The first night after Sid got up to go to the living room to watch baseball, Harry stayed in the kitchen with Big Diane. Harry said, "Big Diane I need to talk to you." "My wife, Diane, did something that I'm not proud of." "I'm just sorry that it happened." "I can't change what happened but if I could change it I would." Harry looked lost, remorse, and had anger. But in his eyes you saw it was with sadness. Harry also said that shocked Big Diane was, "I want to kill her or myself and I am going to go through with it no matter what." Then Harry added that he also found out that Diane lied that the second child was not his. Harry went back to Diane, after he left her to be with Psychic Rose but Diane told Harry that she was pregnant and the child was his. So Harry left Psychic Rose to do the right thing not realizing that Diane was lying. Harry married Diane because he knew the first child wasn't his but Diane made him believe that the second child was his. It was a Friday night and Sid stayed home because Harry and John, Big Diane's son, was there too! They went into the living room to hang out and watch TV with Sid. Harry took a shower and slept in the spare bedroom. The next morning they all got up about 8:30 a.m. and slowly got dressed, Big Diane needed to go shopping. Harry drove Big Diane and Sid to Pathmark. Harry and Sid went to the Pizza Parlor while Big Diane was food shopping. Harry stopped on the way home at 711 to get coffee and a six-pack of Budweiser beer. Big Diane noticed that Harry was very depressed. Harry stopped at the Ronkonkoma Lake, which was only a block away from Big Diane's house, Harry wanted to be alone to think for a while and asked Sid if he could take his van and go home with Big Diane. Sid went back two hours later to pick up Harry at the Ronkonkoma Lake. They went home and Big Diane was getting supper ready. During dinner, Harry told Sid, "Rose and I cannot be together anymore." Sid asked, "Why?" Harry replied, "I will probably be dead." Big Diane was very concerned with Harry's behavior and told Harry that maybe he should go see a Doctor. Harry had tears in his eyes so Big Diane dropped the subject. Harry watched some TV again but this time alone. And eventually went to sleep.
Harry got up at 9:00 a.m. on June 15, and ate his breakfast went to the store with Sid and then left to go pick up his kids to go to his mother-in-law for his Father's Day dinner. Harry said, "Thank you Diane for ironing my suit" and left.
Big Diane's last words are, "Harry killed himself to PROTECT PSYCHIC ROSE." Big Diane was crying as she told her confession and feeling relieved to let it go while Psychic Rose was taking her home. She turned to look at Diane as she was crying with her head down and constantly repeating several times, "Diane gave Vito only half the money, she only gave him half the money!" Psychic Rose did not know what to say except she went through a great deal of pain because of it. Rose fought for her life that day, Good Friday, the same day as the Knight of Templars were murdered and those that survived went to jail!
It was a big secret that Big Diane kept from Psychic Rose for a long time. Big Diane died recently. Harry did LOVE Psychic Rose so much that he killed himself to save her life! Harry took his life because he knew and always feared that Diane would do something terrible to Psychic Rose. Diane was involved and lived across the street from Saint Joseph Church in Ronkonkoma, NY. Psychic Rose is here today because of Harry! Tony Petti was her real biological father and Sophie was her Aunt, which is Tony's older sister, she was pregnant at the same time my mother Frances was pregnant too! I, AnnMarie Conti will always treasure the special memories we shared. She knows, today, Harry would be very PROUD OF HER. She always knew that Harry was THE ONE.
SACRIFICE by Elton John/Bernie Taupin
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